Dads, you are important! Loving, nurturing dads can improve the outcomes for children, with better performances academically, better behavior socially, and better development emotionally. A dad’s impact not only affects the family, but the whole community as well.
We spoke with some local dads who are working hard to strengthen their families and communities, whether it is through coaching, volunteering, or just being present.
Oliver Baldner
Oliver Baldner and family. Photo provided by Oliver Baldner.
Tell us about yourself!
My wife, Beth, and I moved to Ann Arbor in 2016 for Beth’s current job as a Speech Language Pathologist at the University of Michigan. I am a practicing school psychologist that contracts with multiple districts in the state. I am also starting my real estate business and currently work at Reinhart West. My kids are Arlo (5) and Violet (3).
What is the best parenting advice you have received?
That’s tough. I can tell you that cutting food with scissors is one of the best parenting tricks!
Everyone has their own style of parenting and kids are all so unique in terms of their neurodiversity. What works for one child might not work for another. Really it’s all just trial and error and praying that something sticks.
How did your own father influence you?
I looked up to my father a great deal. He was a professor of music at Indiana University. He was quite a bit older when I was born, so I didn’t have a typical “play catch in the yard” dad. He was incredibly wise, he survived the Holocaust as a Jewish person in Germany, and at a certain age I was in awe of what he had accomplished in life.
What are the biggest challenges facing Dads today?
I think one of the biggest challenges is connection. I started and moderate an Ann Arbor Dads group for that reason. I started it last fall and I got so many dads joining right off the bat. It really proved that there was a need for connection in the community. We meet up once a month, whether it’s at a playground or a brewery. Sometimes Dads just want a break, so the brewery hangs are popular.
Greg Farrell
Greg Farrell and family. Photo provided by Greg Farrell.
Tell us about yourself!
I am a Dad to 3 foster children: Leighann (17), Alanna (14), and Ryan (13). I am the Food Service Director at St. Paul Lutheran School in Ann Arbor. I coach youth softball and soccer through Saline sports, and volunteer with children and students at my church. My wife Trish is Director of Children and Student Ministries at First UMC Saline.
What is the best parenting advice you have received?
The best parenting advice I’ve received is to be firm and consistent so my children know expectations and can trust me.
How did your own father influence you?
My dad is an incredible man. He set the example of always being there for my children and volunteering in the community.
What are the biggest challenges facing dads today?
Busyness with kids. Going in 100 directions pulls away from family time and relationships. Prioritizing our family requires effort and focus on what is important, meaning we say no or limit our involvement in other things. Family is number one, and we try our best to keep it that way.
Dan Kolander
Dan Kolander and family. Photo provided by Dan Kolander.
Tell us about yourself!
I am the very proud father of four beautiful, awesome children: Robert (32), Danielle (11), Sadie (9), and Henry (7). I am a husband to my beautiful wife, Sarah. I am the owner of Dan’s Downtown Tavern in Saline.
What is the best parenting advice you have received?
You are here to be a parent, not their best friend! I think we, as parents, want to be our kids best friends, but you just cannot, and I feel that a lot of people, including myself, do this. But you have to set boundaries and have guidelines.
How did your own father influence you?
My father was an amazing, hardworking, loving dad! He passed away from leukemia in 2018, and I miss him every single day. He taught me to be good to people; when you shake hands, be firm and look them in the eye; be respectful; hold doors open for ladies or people; say yes sir, no ma’am; go to church and have God in your life; give your Mom a hug and a kiss and tell her you love her.
What are the biggest challenges facing dads today?
I truly think electronics have honestly hurt our children, their communication skills are truly disappearing, their attention spans are ridiculous, and their wants and needs are right now! And I truly do not think the kids of today need to be taught at such a young age some of the things that they are being exposed to…let them be kids! This is causing problems with communication between parents and kids. I see it all the time. Families just sitting at the same table on their phones, not interacting, not talking about their days or laughing. It is very sad!
Matthew Lillie
Matthew Lillie and family. Photo provided by Matthew Lillie.
Tell us about yourself!
I am a dad to six wonderful children ranging in age from 7 to 14: Alex (14), Emma (12), Luke (11), Jake (10), Anna and Ethan (7). We adopted Emma and Ethan from China when they were 1 and 2. I co-parent with my wonderful wife Christy, whom I have been married to for 19 years. I recently retired from Bank of America, where I was a program manager in the divestitures and special projects team. Now, I am a full time Dad. The number of medical and specialty appointments we have on the calendar is somewhat flooring to many. I find solitude knowing that God put me in their lives to augment these needs with services that we can provide, and that they will, hopefully, flourish as adults from the support we give them.
What is the best parenting advice you have received?
Parenting is one of the hardest things we do as adults and each kid’s needs are different. Being open to understanding each kid’s needs is core to being successful. I try to meet their needs and always let them know that we love them. It also helps if you can laugh as much as possible.
How did your own father influence you?
It is kind of funny because I often find myself saying or doing the same things my dad did when he was raising me, some good and some not so good. Overall, what my dad taught me is that we will not always get it right, we will make mistakes at times and I just hope one day my own kids will understand my parenting choices and know I always loved them.
What are the biggest challenges facing dads today?
Technology devices and the access to information such as media content/social media are what I would say is the biggest challenge facing parents today. It is hard to know the full impacts on development and mental health that this exposure creates since this exposure is a relatively new variable to parenting. We need to teach kids responsible usage and healthy boundaries for technology when oftentimes this can be hard for parents to manage themselves. I know I am personally working on limiting and managing my kids exposure to devices and media and some days it can be quite a battle.
David McManama
David McManama and family. Photo provided by David McManama.
Tell us about yourself!
I am a purchasing manager with Toyota, currently responsible for lighting and electronic products. This is a role I’ve had for almost 3 years, which has been interesting during the pandemic and semiconductor shortage. My wife, Tracy, and I have 3 children: Nick (21), Sarah (19) and Mary (14). We have a one-mile race tradition on Father’s Day that we’ve been doing for ten years now. Over the years, it has been a lot of fun. Each person can put into it whatever they want. I hope to continue the tradition for as long as the kids can be with us on Father’s Day weekend.
What is the best parenting advice you have received?
Everyone says it, but treasure the time with kids because they grow up so fast. It was so hard to follow this advice because there is always a huge time crunch from work and other activities.
How did your own father influence you?
He continues to be a great example. He spent a lot of time with my brother and me growing up, and encouraged us in our activities. Now he and my mom are retired, and they’ve always helped to take care of our kids when they could.
What are the biggest challenges facing dads today?
Technology and social media. Kids communicate differently and it continues to evolve. When I was a kid, of course, my parents didn’t always know what I was doing, but it was a lot easier. Now, kids spend so much time on phones and apps. There’s a balance of independence and trust versus being a helicopter parent.
Dr. Andrew Schneider
Dr. Andrew Schneider and family. Photo provided by Dr. Andrew Schneider.
Tell us about yourself!
My wife, Kelsey, and I own Steadfast Chiropractic in Saline. Kelsey has a background in social work, and I am the chiropractor for our office. We’ve been blessed with two amazing kiddos, Alice (6) and Lucas (4). We like to spend our time outside and restoring the farm that we live on.
What is the best parenting advice you have received?
Interview your children at least once a year. Ask them about their goals, where they want to travel, and what things they want to experience. This can shape how you spend those special moments with your kids.
How did your own father influence you?
My dad has had, and continues to have a wonderful influence on my life. He has always placed his family at the top of his priorities. By consistently leading and mentoring me throughout my life, he has provided me with all the tools that I need to be a father.
What are the biggest challenges facing dads today?
Every dad faces unique challenges in their lifetime. More importantly, dads need to rise to that challenge. We need to instill the lesson into our kids that hard things are good. If we want our kids to show up for hard things in life, we must do the same.
